I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize