Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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