Where is the hickey?
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
