Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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