the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
