I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize