We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
