You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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