Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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