dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Randomize
