He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
