just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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