I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
porn star boner night. come get it.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
