hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
