It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Randomize
