youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
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