brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Randomize
