were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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