I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
should my penis look like a turkey
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
