Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
