watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
