Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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