No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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