operation have a gay friend backfired
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
