do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
