Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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