Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Life is so much better after having sex.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Randomize
