That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
