WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
