i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
