so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
