I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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