it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
This house was built for laser tag.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
