You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
