Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
When are your genitals available?
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Randomize
