Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize