I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
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