no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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