If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
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