Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
