Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
My cat gives me a boner
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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