Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
