Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
