So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
