he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
