I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
