Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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