Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize