Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
