You made me cry and you don't even care
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
