doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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