How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Randomize
