Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I'm too high and old for this...
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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