I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Randomize
