woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize