Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
