I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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