Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
