Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
