so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
