beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Boobs speak an international language.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I'm both gender and math confused
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize