I just cut my nipple shaving
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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