U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
