So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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