Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
