Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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